This race was epic. I still can’t believe the weather and the ground conditions we experienced in the snowy mountains.

My training leading into the race was a bit of a roller coaster ride on its own. Trying to juggle long runs, strength training, being a part time stay at home dad, and returning to work after treatment for PTSD proved a bit much at times. While most people say they could’ve done more, I definitely could’ve. My coach, Tash and I joked about how long my taper was…. probably a couple of months.

As always, the night before was filled with excitement and anxiety. I tried to keep myself busy as I taped my feet, made sure my vest was packed and chilled out with a movie. I still only had about 3-4 hours sleep….. the perfect amount going into a 100km ultra that would take me at least 24 hours, right?
Standing at the start line with Scott, Dan and Mel was fantastic. Trails and Training had introduced me to a cool little community and the 4 of us were full of excitement and determination.

The first leg into checkpoint 1 I felt amazing. I almost kept up with my fellow T&T runners and managed to jog quite a bit of it. Many top Miler runners who started at 03:30 were running past us too which provided so much motivation. They looked so fresh. Power hiking into checkpoint 1 felt great as I was hours ahead of cutoff.

I wasn’t expecting the trails and training crew (support crew for the others) made sure I was looked after too. Feeding me, filing up my fluids and making sure I had what I needed for the next few checkpoints till I reached another drop bag. I wasn’t used to it and a bit resistant to their help. Sorry guys.

Leaving checkpoint 1, I hung out with a fellow runner who was struggling with an ankle injury. We were headed up the summit walk trail, chatting, feeling good and jogging on and off. It was during the summit walk my head started to go to some dark places. I ended up telling my new friend to just go on because I’ll be slow up the hills. My mind was wandering and I was really struggling with motivation up the hills. I still managed to maintain a consistent pace but the climb to the summit was bloody hard.

I knew my mum was hiking the summit in the morning too but didn’t think I would see her. Next thing you know I hear “Jase!”. “Mum i can’t talk I have to keep moving”. My head still wasn’t great so I knew I would struggle even more. So a quick selfie with my mum and off I go to the summit.

When I got close to the summit the storms hit. It started with hearing the thunder, some low cloud and just a spot of hail. I was turned around about 20-30m from the summit due to the storm. That was ok….. I was on struggle street anyway. So I started jogging down and the hail became so intense it hurt. There were people taking shelter under rocks while I decided to keep pushing while getting pelted. I would describe it as being the birthday boy or buck at a paintball party, bring pelted by your mates for 30-40mins straight. You can’t fight back and just have to cop it. Up and down the main range track was good fun. The track was filled with hail and was a flowing river.
After the hail and rain disappeared, I was reinvigorated. I was motivated and power hiking a lot faster than before. My body felt great. The hail literally knocked some sense into me.

Hitting checkpoint 2 I could see hundreds of people running down the hill, looking fresh with smiles on their faces. I found out that the race was paused due to the storm and a lot of people were stuck at checkpoints for up to 2 hours. Part of me wished I was held at the checkpoint as well but the other part was happy I had the hail experience because it woke me up. It certainly makes for a good story too.

Leaving checkpoint 2, I had to turn around. I left my bloody poles behind. Leaving checkpoint 2 again, I headed down the steep hill and onto the cheese grater. My body and mind felt great. I stuck to my plan the entire way to checkpoint 3, jogging the down hill and flat parts, walking up the hills. It rained on and off but nothing too wild. It was actually nice the sun didn’t come out properly otherwise the humidity would’ve been disgusting. It really was a great section to run, following the river down into guthega.
Tash and Michael were there to greet me, and forced me to run in: “run it in Jase!” Hahaha
It was nice to be inside, get dry, eat some noodles and have a cofee. I was super excited to get back out there and start jogging. As I left and headed down on the fire trail, I tried to get into a jog. My guts weren’t quite right after the noodles. I walked the vast majority of that section because every time I went to run, I just felt off and nauseous.

The rain started coming down pretty hard leading into Perisher. I was looking forward to a change of clothes and getting warm with some extra layers. It just hit sunset as I arrived. Tash and Michael were there to greet me again and make sure I had everything I needed. I looked around at the other runners and realised I was in better shape than I thought. They looked cold, had thermal blankets on and were tending to their feet. i definitely wasn’t in perfect condition but I was ready to smash out the second half of this race.
With fresh clothes, a little bit of food in my belly and a restock of gels, electrolytes and water, I was back out on the trails. Little did I know what was in store on my way to Bullocks Flat.

The mud! The slipping and sliding down the hills! The heavy rain!

It’s was feral!

I remember feeling absolutely defeated in this section and the next. Sliding in mud up to my ankles was so much fun 😳. To be fair, I look back at it now and it actually was fun….. just not at the time.

We reached bullocks flat and had to recoup and restock in the rain. I sat in the chair under the gazebo just feeling flat. I had to give myself an internal pep talk to get going again. It worked, I was up, moving and eating. A cheeky slice of watermelon on the way out was my reward for leaving the checkpoint.

The trails to Ngarigo were even worse. Mud, mud and more mud. Rivers were flowing down the trails which often washed a bit of the mud off. No matter what I did, my feet were living in a pool of water.

Ngarigo was another tricky one to leave. The rain had settled a bit and the huge fire pit was just delightful. I knew if I spent too long there I would struggle to get going again. So, after a few cheeky slices of watermelon along with coffee and coke, I headed off, slowly. It was another hard section due to the rain and mud.

Did I mention the mud?

This section into Thredbo’s Village green seemed to go forever. I was slow and miserable. I was still making good time, beating the cutoffs by at least 2 hours but I was slowing up. It was a hard slog.
Getting into the last checkpoint in Thredbo I still didn’t quite feel defeated. I had 5 hours or so to get to the finish line. It was enough. So I sat down, ate, restocked and enjoyed the heater for a little bit.

I think the heater was my mistake. I was already layered up but everytime I went to leave the checkpoint I started shivering. It was at this point I realised it just wasn’t worth it for me. I just couldn’t leave the heater without shivering.

My head had already given up at this point and so I called it. Knowing I would have to make a massive climb, with 30km winds and 50km gusts at the top was just something I didn’t think I could do. I withdrew at 93km.
I look back on it now and ofcourse I could’ve finished. There’s no doubt now that my body could’ve kept going, even with the pain in my feet and the cold weather. Hindsight, ofcourse, is a wonderful thing and I have learnt a lot of lessons. I’m disappointed but I refuse to beat myself up about it.

In that weather, with the lack of training and preparation for the event, I am happy with what I achieved.